it has been very hot here. VERY HOT. like the 9th circle of hell hot, assuming the 9th circle of hell also has people walking around shirtless with the piece of cloth that should be covering their ill-shapen nipples precariously balanced on their equally misshapen head. I don't care how hot it is: men should legally be obligated to keep their shirts on at all times. Unless they are swimming or just about to make out with you. That's it. None of this walking around hampden, showing off your distended bellies to the kids... or biking down st. paul with your man boobs being jostled by the slight but persistent breeze generated by you finally going downhill. and i don't care if you have a great body. shirts should be on. like the nice guy at the dog park.... guess what? you're nice and fairly attractive, but i saw you walking home with your pooch SANS torso teepee. so you suck.
that being said, i have a super hot, sexy, muy caliente heat rash. i'm pretty excited about it. it looks incredibly nasty, itches and hurts a lot (and both at the same time), and i'm not going to go to the doctor about it because i'm 99% sure they will just look it up on webmd and then prescribe me some antibiotics and/or hydrocortisone. i can look that up myself, and have, and people with heat rashes are gross.
so today in class we discussed X inactivation and dosage compensation. i put a picture up of a calico kitten and described it as an evil, evil calico kitten. my students asked me why i don't like cats, as i had mentioned my dislike of felines in previous lectures. i asked if they really wanted to know, and they all shouted "YES" as they all put their pencils down to take in what they knew what going to be an outrageous story.
Reasons i don't like cats:
1. kittens are like velcro. they stick to everything. they climb up your pants or bare legs and when you try to take them off they stick their little kitten claws into your denim and/or skin. they are impossible to remove.
2. i grew up with lots of feral cats. more feral cats than i can count are buried in shoe boxes on the ol' family homestead. these cats were hit by cars, tractors, one was run over by my dad in a lawnmower-related accident. gross.
3. princess the cat would leave headless birds on the stoop for us as morning "presents." my brothers and sisters and i would gear up for school, head out into garage to pile into the station wagon and BOOM. there it was. every morning. the dead headless bird present. first person out the door always ran the highest chance of stepping straight in it. in a dead bird with no head.
4. princess became pregnant. princess gave birth to those kittens and was kept in the garage because it was winter. she was in the garage with her daughter and son kitties and that's it. so a few months later when princess was pregnant again, i wondered "hmm... that's weird. how could princess get pregnant if the only other cats in the garage were... oh god. the only other cats were... her sons?! her sons and princess? princess and her sons?!" i was 10. it was a dark day.
5. it's a fact that cats are icky. a scientific fact.
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