these are my new earrings. i love them.today was the first day of the second session of the third best nerdball camp. kidding. it's the number one nerdball camp. the last three weeks of my life were spent lecturing total dweebs on the minutiae of genetics, giving students nicknames like "wolfman," being amazed by the ability of one of my students to make origami men playing guitars and men playing violins and double helices and coffins with corpses that pop out of them, and watching presentations on Drosophila where my kids identified that the difference between male and female Drosophila is that the males have black butts. And then wondering why I was giggling so hard in the back. i also met some of the most wonderful adult folks i have met in a very long time.... so nice they let my non-imbibing self play beer pong and corn hole and go to dance parties and let me get crazy with crafts for them. and then two of the bestest left. and what has their absence been replaced with? oh... i shall tell you...
some of the new instructors....
1. mr. perfect. his name is mr. perfect and he is a chemistry instructor and he is british and i'm 99% sure he's a spy sent on a secret mission to infiltrate terribly administrated and overly passive-aggressive summer camps. i want to be his best friend/excuse for a torrid tea affair.
2. ms. no-bra from the east. she's the new biology TA. she is chinese and apparently likes the phrase "goddamn it" and doesn't wear bras. with boxy ill-fitting polo shirts. she's going to be so awesome in air conditioning.
3. ms. fiona the censor a.k.a. red rocket. i have heard much about this woman (also nicknamed "big red") and how our meeting may cause the earth to split open and some sort of cosmic battle ensue. she covers pictures of the reproductive system in textbooks with post-it notes. my goal is to say "vagina" as much as possible in our first meeting. she looks like fiona. from shrek. with lots of freckles. and she likes to stare at me during instructional meetings. probably already has planned a way to put a post-it on my vagina.
and some of our returning favorites...
1. todd, a.k.a. panther. that's the new nickname i've given him because he's from illinois and has the BEST midwest accent ever and when i suggested that everyone grow a mustache for second session, he said he couldn't and that it was something he really hated about himself. i then followed him around all night waiting for him to say funny stuff.
2. ngs. ngs and potter (soon to be introduced) got into a backbending contest at the last dance party. it did not go well. ngs teaches astrophysics and i'm pretty sure that most of the glittery shiny stuff she wears is made directly from stardust. she is awesome.
3. potter. potter drunk is like a six-year-old drunk. not that i've seen a six-year-old drunk, but potter is the most happiest drunk i have ever seen. lots of giggling and squealing and high fives.
those are the good things..... the administration of the place is an entire story in itself..... but we shall wait until further madness ensues to lay that all out.... til then, i've got a vagina to cover.
3 comments:
I don't even get an honorable mention? I'm totally going to have to do logic at you for this. As follows:
Theorem: (x)[](Ey)(x=y)
Proof:
1 assume: ~(x)[](Ey)(x=y)
2 (Ex)<>(y)~(x=y)
3 <>(y)~(a=y)
4 W (y)~(a=y)
5 W ~(a=a)
CONTRADICTION
hence (x)[](Ey)(x=y)
QED
(This is called the Barcan formula. It was discovered by one of the few super-awesome female logicians. It says that everything that exists MUST exist. E.g., it's impossible for Proton not to exist. LOGIC! IT'S SCIENCE FOR CRAZY PEOPLE!)
well played, my friend. well played. your exclusion was not in any way meant to indicate your lack of importance. that would be illogical. and outrageous.
logic uses too many parentheses.
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