passion pit of passion... i love that band

hilarious/frightening treat of the day: on a female college student's homework: "a pap smear is when a woman usually 18 years and older go to a doctor and get tested for cancer in their boobs." my written response: "who is your doctor?"

and in my anatomy class today, i reminded my students to make sure that they wrap their dissected cats in wet paper towels... because "nobody likes a dry pussy. what? did i just say that out loud?" yep. yep i did.

so my resignation has been submitted and i am counting the days. i've come to realize that it isn't the actions of the students that are moving me to leave, it's the complete apathy of the faculty and staff. COMPLETE AND UTTER APATHY. and if there's one thing i may add to my list of "things i abhor," it's apathy. and that goes across the board: apathy in regards to social issues, sexy-time relationships, politics, you name it. show some passion! how can you not being worked-up about being in love, or being surrounded by racist idiots, or making the best goddamn sugar cookies you've ever made in your life?! being excited and ethusiastic about people and places and things you love doesn't make you some sort of infantile who's missing the bigger picture. it may just be that you do see the bigger picture and that's all the more reason to be excited about what's going on right in front of you. denying yourself those small moments of excitement, and sometimes infuriation, leaves a space where that visceral, emotional connection just might be. good or bad, those emotions are beautiful and frightening and challenging and a gorgeous reflection of the energy you are bursting with. i love it. i love that energy and i love that passion. and i love people who aren't afraid to show it. like my sisters. we built a mouse maze for andrea's pet mouse red and that was one of the most exciting and awesome projects ever. in the history of the world. no, it wasn't when we were kids, it was three months ago. rope swings, forest made of pencils, paper towel tower... amazing! hug some exciting person tonight... :)

that bastard dr. moreau

this morning i told my high school chemistry class about this crazy book i just read called The Island of Dr. Moreau. i figured that none of them had ever heard of it, or H.G. Wells for that matter, and i was right. they asked me to describe what happens and i did, making sure to talk up the outrageous creatures and the questionable ethics of one dr. moreau and when i was finished the reigning pumpkin princess exclaimed "wait, is anyone on to this guy? where is his island?" i assured that that there was no real dr. moreau and that mr. wells wrote this and many other science fiction novels/stories to shed light onto advances in the sciences and their unforseen consequences. i'm not sure she was convinced. she seemed a little more at ease when another student mentioned they had seen the movie and it was real messed up. i'm now reading Guns, Germs, and Steel but i think their heads might explode if i tried to explain what they was about... and that it's nonfiction.

in other news, i went to my first auction yesterday and bought two paintings... actually one painting and one woodblock etching. so exciting! of course i bid within the first twenty-five items and when i secured my first painting i squealed with delight. the aunctioneer looked at me and said "first auction? i can't tell." and then started laughing super hard. hells yeah it's my first auction and you're lucky i dont have more money or i would have swiped that pair of oriental lamps with grazing deer on them from under your nose.

and i'm outtie...

1- i graded anatomy and physiology exams yesterday and two students used "cock block" when describing the role of tropomyosin in muscle contraction. awesome.

2- i was raised to never quit anything. that you always see things through, finish projects to completion, even if and especially when they get difficult. but as i've aged, i've found that there are situations when walking away is a little bit different than quitting. that doesn't always make it any easier, but situations aren't always as emotionally vacant as finishing a cross-stitch pattern of the berenstain bears. that being said, i have decided to put in my 30-day notice at the high school. i had a very long discussion today with the new person in charge of development at the school today and was shocked by how far up the school foodchain the apathy and warped priorities go. the poor guy is just at appalled as i am and also has the added joy has of hearing stories from his son (a freshman nerdy type) about how much he wants to learn but he can't because of the other students yelling and swearing at the teachers. OUTRAGEOUS. i also discovered the belligerant student i had the run-in with has not paid his tuition in three years. so not only is he abusive, he's being abusive for free. mr. development and i also had a very insane exchange when both of us talked about how we are physically afraid of the football coach and football players and are waiting to walk out to the parking lot to see our cars either keyed or the windows bashed in. these are reasonable fears we have because we stand up for normal nice things.

incidents of racist and sexist and homophobic dialogue are still not being addressed and the majority of faculty and administration seem to find it acceptable to keep passing the "tolerance torch" around. as in, "i'm not sure what to do, why don't we form a subcommittee and they can figure it out. " students are not punished for disrespectful behavior, academic achievement is minimal, faculty are drowning in their own apathy, the football coach is still on-staff, and i am tired of being the radical lesbian bitch who tells students to stop swearing and wants them to be smart. and the lack of support from the administration is the final straw. and did i mention i'm only working part-time? so tomorrow my letter of resignation is going in. and i can spend more time with my dog and eco dorks. i miss dorks so much.

hate? yep... hate

i don't hate many things. in fact, i try really hard to not actually hate anything. except beets. they're super gross. but i don't allow my students to use the word "hate" and encourage them instead to use interesting, fun words like "abhor" and "detest." it makes them seem much smarter and less limited. but i think something i really hate, in the purest sense of the word, is cancer. cancer and apathy, but that's another blog. i hate cancer because it's greedy and insatiable. i hate the way it tears at families and folks and robs them of security and futures. and granted, i can see the ways that these upheavals in comfort can actually promote bursts of enlightenment and gratitude, but does it have to go about it in such a nasty way? does it have hit up my cousin at age 20 with leukemia that keeps her in treatments for years, and just when she's on her way out, it hits her mom with breast cancer? was it really necessary? did it think that aunt monny wasn't taking it seriously enough? that it had to come in for round 2? unfortunately for the cancer, it hasn't seen our family dance at family weddings and has no idea how badly we're going to kick its ass.

the outlier

unfortunately all this mess is not just in my head. and by mess, i mean the not-so-subtle "boo hiss dr. larson" attitudes at the high school i am teaching at. my eco club committee has dwindled down to three students, my interactions with students i've never interacted with but have a certain association with a certain sports team are confrontational and aggressive at best, and yesterday i had a particularly ridiculous run-in with a student who likes sucking face with his girlfriend in the hallway. the result of my asking them to refrain from such activity was me writing up an incident report because the kid went ballistic on me. and where might all this antagonism stem from? from my being vocal about the hate-speech that was/is perpetrated by the school football team. i was really, really hoping this was all in my head, but this morning the principal told me that in his "apologetics" class, football players continue to bring up my name, that they are still confused by what point i was trying to make. hmmm... if i didn't think you were a racist, misogynistic, misguided, intellectually and emotionally-stunted person i might take the time to explain it to you. but you are, and i have other things to do. i have to say it legitimately make me sad to realize that no, i am not reading the signals wrong, and that yes, these kids are having whatever brain cells remain warped into thinking that i am the enemy here. that my intellect and fortitude are threatening and should be met with disrespectful and ignorant behavior. it's sad and frustrating and angering.

and to sort of top it off, i had an interview yesterday with a gentleman on a committee determining if discussed high school should join some association, and after our discussion he remarked "you're really an outlier here." granted, it made me happy that he should use the term "outlier" (but he is a physics teacher and thought my joke of teaching empathetic and empirical thought was funny), but my response was "well, if thinking that being nice to each other is really important makes me an outlier, i'm an outlier." and as another teacher who i really like and respect told me today, "you are the pink, commie liberal here." awesome. where can i get a huge-ass poster of stalin?

igloo? ice cream?

this is why i love halloween. not the weirdo dog picture. i'm standing in like at joann fabrics tonight with my to-be-cut ribbon when a 7-year-old and her grandma get in line behind me. the girl is in solid native american attire, braids, moccasins, beading... an exceptional costume. she's looking me and my ribbon up and down, trying to figure out what exactly i could be doing with it. i start unravveling the material to get it ready for cutting, when i realize that there is a long piece already cut. i look at her and the bantering starts...
me: "did you cut my ribbon?"
girl: "no."
me: "are you sure?"
girl: "yes."

i then wrap the ribbon around myself a few times to make sure it's long enough.
girl: "you probably need to cut that."
me: "actually, i need it to be long enough to wrap around me a few times so i think it's ok."
girl: "what's your costume?"
me: "i'm going to be rough endoplasmic reticulum."
girl: *silence*
me: "do you know what that is?"
girl: "no."
me: "it's in your cells. are you in costume?"
girl: "yes."
me: "oh.. you're a dinosaur, right?"
girl: "no."
me: "a unicorn?"
girl: "no."
me: "a robot?"
girl: "no... it starts with an i and is a person."
me: "...... an ice cream cone?"
girl: "is an ice cream cone a person?"
me: "no... you're right. an inuit?"
girl: "what?"
me: "an igloo?"
girl: "no!"
me: "an indian?"
girl: "yes!"
me: "john smith?"
girl: "no... pocahontas."

i also found out pocahontas can't eat gluten, so halloween is the worst holiday ever for grandma. she spends most of the time telling her what she can't eat. pocahontas was also discussing her summer plans, which include buying a horse and a dog. i didn't have time to get into my childhood dream of being kidnapped by an indian brave who would take me to his awesome tribe camp and we would make great smart white lady/hot indian brave babies.

happy halloween.

tropomyosin... my my my

i'll use pretty much any analogy to make a concept i'm teaching stick. so today i was introducing my anatomy and physiology students to the mechanism underlying muscle contraction, namely, the binding of myosin to actin and subsequent movement of those funky little fibers past each other. SO.. in order for myosin to bind to actin, these little pesky proteins called tropomyosins need to be moved off the actin. and how did i describe the function of tropomyosins? i believe it went something like this... "tropomyosin prevents myosin from binding to actin when the muscle is at rest. it's kind of like the cock block of muscular contraction."

and did i mention two weeks ago when i was going through the answers of a test and said "number 1- d... as in dog. number 2-b... as in basket. number 3-c... as in cocksucker." it had been a rough day. unfortunately my students kept talking about how funny that was during my observation by my boss. but guess who's teaching not one, but two, classes there next semester? boo-yah.