hydrant

today at the dog park a rottweiler peed on me. it was one of those days. children are officially terrible creatures and dogs pee on me. then, of course, since one dog peed one me, all the other dogs started circling me and making the move to leave their mark on me. not awesome. BUT.. i can't be too mad at the dog because it's the same 180-pound machine that took a mitten from a kid sledding a few weeks ago and ran around with it, shaking it like a dead rabbit. also, a fellow dog parker told me that a few days ago, his dog shat out a used condom. THAT'S terrible. how do you explain that away gracefully? "oh coach... you cute little sperm-and-latex-ingesting mutt dog... let's just scoop that away."