today i had jury duty. it was my first time doing so in baltimore, and i was more than a little frightened by the prospect. earlier in the week i told my students that i would be out of class on friday, and please don't destroy the substitute. and at all costs protect the record player in the room from the one icky sub who keeps making comments about taking it. i don't care what it takes: create a diversion, someone fake a seizure, just don't do anything that will get you suspended. i also told them how i was the defense attorney's dream juror: i'm half communist/half marxist, and i hate cops and white people. one class inparticular went nuts when i said that... and one mr. leland exclaimed "aw dr. larson, will you be my mom?" WEIRD. no. no i will not. i'm happy to say that the process today was much smoother than i had imagined anything linked to baltimore public services could be. granted, it was the most goddamn boring day of my life and the two movies they played for us were "meet the parents" and "happy feet," but i did manage to score the most amazing sequined mini-dress during my lunch break. wait now... they did play another awesome movie during our orientation. it was about the amazingness of the jury system and how we're so much more civilized now because we don't have "trial by ordeal." then the movie provided great visuals to what a trial by ordeal might be like (this one involved throwing a hog-tied guy in water and seeing if he floated (guilty) or sank (innocent)). we all laughed heartily when they threw him in. i was waiting for the movie to flash into the future of the 21st century and go into detail on the "trial by how much money you have" and how we like putting needles in guilty, guilty poor people's arms, but that didn't pop up on the flatscreen.
the eeriest sound i heard today: the clankity-clank of chains as prisoners were escorted past the jury quiet room. clankity-clankity-clank sprinkled with the sound of shuffling feet. so sad and so weird....
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