thursday i was out sick with the flu. i felt bad about not going in because the students have an exam on monday and i wanted to make sure that everything had been covered. all sympathy for these children masquerading in pre-teen bodies disappeared when i returned to my classroom on friday and discovered that a class of mine broke one of my funky science gadgets. there was some note on it from the substitute (who is a story in himself) saying "sorry, 848 broke your newton's cradle. can fix with fishing line." problem #1: this cradle was on my desk = personal items = booger-coated children's hands should not be touching it. problem #2: there's no way the students should have even been out of their desks. i also hear reports from other teachers who have classes near mine that the kids were absolutely out of control and super loud and rather obnoxious. so, i'm mad at the kids for being doofuses, and also at the substitute because he let things get out of hand.
and let's give a little background on this substitute. i was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt because he's an adult and i heard the kids kind of making fun of him, but after my own interaction with him, yah... he's creepy and gross. a couple of weeks ago i was in the teacher's lounge making copies and he comes in. we say hello, and then i continue on with my stapling, hoping and wishing that i don't have to engage in idle chit-chat with this guy. he's sitting at the computer, and even though i have my chin buried into my chest and am stapling away, i can feel him staring at me. he finally says "so, what'd you get your phd in?" i tell him, he keeps staring, then says "wow, we're sure lucky to have you." um.. ok. stop looking at me and get your beady, undressing eyes back on the screen. i think i said "sometimes" and got up to check my copies... willing the copy machine to jam so i can really focus on something else. so Creepo McSub is sitting at the computer when he all of a sudden exclaims "oh man, they finally found the guy who killed my friend." shit. shit. shit. how do you not ask what that's about? so i make the mistake of asking what that's about, and what follows is pure insanity. his ex-fiance's cousin was a prostitute and she was killed by some guy who apparently was a serial killer and all this went down at a really hard time in his life and he and his ex-fiance were really trying to make things work and he's telling the prostitute to really watch herself and then she gets killed and it makes things all the worse for him because he's really trying to "stay straight and not do things he's not supposed to." which to me sounds like touching children inappropriately and/or shoving household items into his crevices. so no.. i do not like this sub.
back to room destruction: i'm in my room that morning, and Creepo comes in, staring at me, asking me how i'm doing, then saying how sorry he is about my newton's cradle, and he could fix it for me, and i say no, and then he asks if i'm going to fix it, i say yes, and then he starts talking about the vintage record player in the corner of my room and how he was going to take it home to see if it works and HELLS NO. you are not taking my vintage record player. BUG OFF BUDDY. YOU ARE INCREDIBLY GROSS AND I WANT TO CUT OFF YOUR WAIST-LONG PONYTAIL AND MAKE YOU EAT IT.
the wrath the children received that day: the quiet, quiet mad. the mad that's worse than the screaming mad. "i was hoping you all were responsible enough to allow you to do some really cool science stuff, but right now i don't know if that's possible." "i felt so bad not coming into school yesterday with the test coming up but all that sympathy is gone." lame but apparently effective: my classes uttered zero peeps of anything and a girl cried when i told her how disrespectful she was acting to both me and other teachers and 1/2 of the disaster team came after school to tell me she broke my toy. AND, i found out two 8th grade boys "like" me. like "like like" me. oh dang. must be the solid black i wear and my unstyled hair.
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