dog jerky

so i decided to dog-sit Izzy this weekend. Izzy is Professor Proton's non-sexual domestic life partner. they like each other very much and the pictures are what happens when these two creatures get together. lots of romping and tromping and then total exhaustion.

we had a nice day yesterday: took a trip to the dog park, watched "A Bucket of Blood," finished Valley of the Dolls. good day. we all settle in for the evening and i decide it's best to put all of us in the same room (my bedroom) to prevent any whining/crying. BIGGEST FUCKING MISTAKE OF MY LIFE. i was trying to get started on a great new book my sister sent me, but had a bit of a difficult time getting into it due to the beasts frolicking and romping on top of page 2. Proton is also getting super protective/territorial and basically screaming any time Izzy gets close to the bed. so, i decide that turning the lights off and trying to go to sleep would be the best for everyone. that's at 9:30 p.m. for the next three hours i listened to Izzy run back and forth to the window, barking at anybody/anything that might move outside of it. it was like having country dog visiting the city or something. "WOH, WHAT'S THAT. HOLY COW.. IT'S A STREETLIGHT. AND WAIT-- WHAT'S THAT? A PARKING METER? JESUS CHRIST!! HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN THIS?" and then the barking would begin. and izzy is huge. so her moving around sounds like an intruder in my room. so, of course, i need to check every time i hear to moving to make sure it's really still the dog. when she wasn't walking around, she was trying to get Proton to fight with her. at 1:30 a.m. i took her outside to see if all the moving around was due to her having to go to the bathroom or something. nope. not at all. we get back inside and it continues. at this point i mumble out loud "please, all i want to do is sleep." but Izzy's got other things on her mind. i manage to hit dreamland briefly, but am awakened by this heavy weight on my chest. that would be Izzy laying on top of me. i don't know how much Izzy weighs, but it's about 15.5 protons and once Proton realizes what's going on there's a fucking dog battle on top of me. so much dog screaming. at that point i about lost my mind and upped the ante on my verbalization to "i wish i was dead." i guess that sort of was answered cus right now i feel about half-dead. another trip outside at 6:30 a.m. and finally throwing in the towel for reals at 9:00 a.m.

and now they're exhausted. assholes.