mad as a hatter. so mad.

i guess i was naive to assume that my resigning would go smoothly. but some part of me thought that considering all the times i have spoken to people at the school about my frustration with both the incidents of hate-speech and disrespect from students they wouldn't necessarily be that shocked at my leaving. but they were. shocked and angry. and it's hard to tell where exactly those reactions are coming from. it's almost as though they are shocked that i would really, for real, resign on principle. resign because i will not associate myself with a place that tolerates and silently excuses hate. i won't do it.

the angry reaction is a little bit harder to dissect. and let me say that the anger i have had directed at me since resigning is far more intense than anything i saw the football team receive during their hate-speech bonanza. i think part of that anger comes from a warped sense of loyalty, or a warped sense of loyalty that some people feel i should have. loyalty either to them as people or to the school in general. then another part of it comes from embarrassment. and then another part.... it seems as though people like to talk about all these changes that are going to happen to curb the intolerance, but nothing happens. and then when i decide to do something and resign, the first reaction people have is anger because my resignation indeed indicates that something really is wrong and they're standing around and letting it happen. that for all the talk going on, there is no action being taken. and talk is important, but if you're not going to follow up on anything, then you're just going through the motions to make yourself feel better. and i of course realize that my leaving, i'm removing a person from the school who was working hard to make these changes happen. but when you're one person bashing your head up against the wall and getting punched in the face by gross racists, perhaps it's time to walk away. my leaving is one of the few repurcussions i have actually seen at the school. you act like this, you refuse to take action, then i walk away. but i'll probably be ducking in case you try throwing anything at my head. grossos.