My motivation for remaining a part of the Vermont teaching community is at an all-time low. And for good reason. I received a message this past Friday from the Catholic high school I work at saying there was going to be a meeting for football players, their parents, and faculty. I had no idea what was going on and called the school office. The story: every Friday afternoon, after football practice, the football players gather for what is called "Church chat." They stand in front of the big church across the street from our school and get all pumped up by yelling things. Some of the things they yell (and my stomach is churning right now thinking about typing them) are "Kill *the n-word,* kill f-ggts, kill jews." No, I am not making this up, and no, you have not been transported back to 1950. A few of the football players who knew that this was INSANELY MESSED UP reported this to the administration and faculty and the team was made to forfeit the game on Saturday, do a community service project, and issue a public apology. The meeting on Friday night was to talk about all of this. I CANNOT in any way describe the insanity I witnessed at the meeting. Parents screaming about how great their kids are, who is it that's offended by this?", the punishment is way too severe, the principal (who is amazing and was called an asshole by one of the parents as they walked in the building) is unfairly punishing their children, etc. I was sitting in the back (having had one glass of wine before the meeting) absolutely stunned, shocked, and pissed. I raised my hand and delivered a soft-spoken, intelligent little speech on how important it is that we show the community that this behavior unacceptable, blah blah blah, and the people went NUTS on me. The football coach (who has a mullet, wore sweatpants, and no doubt lifts weights in his basement whilst looking at a poster of Cheryl Tiegs) gave some moronic response, staring at me the whole time, and at one point walking toward me like he was going to punch me. I asked the teacher sitting next to me whether I had just entered the Twillight Zone. BECAUSE I HAD. An hour and 1/2 of racist, in-bred justifcations for the football players followed, and the next time I spoke I was so pissed I started crying. I asked the players to repeat the words they had said but they refused, saying that was irrelevant. When I expressed how upsetting their behavior was, the response of one of the players was that that was my personal reaction, that that was my own thing to deal with. Yep.... it was my fault I was too sensitive. We had a teacher's meeting following the circus and so many people were crying, absolutely shocked by what they had just witnessed. It's one thing to be involved in a school where there's an issue of cultural insensitivity and the school community is willing to combat it, meet it head-on and deal with it. It's something completely different when you have a handfull of teachers (and a brave, amazing principal) who are fighting a battle against the establishment, trying eight hours a day to combat the racist, close-minded messages these kids are receiving at home. And I'm not 100% convinced that all of the teachers are on the same page.
So where I am with this now: still upset, go to bed thinking about it, wake up thinking about it. I know that the behavior of these kids and their parents is not at all a reflection of me and my convictions, but it's incredibly hard to think about working at an institution where a substantial number of folks think this way and are imparting their bigotry on their students. I've made the decision that unless something happens IMMEDIATELY, and by something I mean instituting sensitivity programs, weekly meetings on diversity awareness, etc., I am resigning in December. Unless those programs become part of the regular curriculum, nothing is going to change. And I'd much rather put my energy elsewhere. I already feel embarassed to tell people I work at the school, frightened that the idiocy these players have demonstarted is being assigned to all associated with the school. And did I mention this is a Catholic, Christian institution? Makes perfect sense.
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