Eco Bags

Fantastic project I am involved in was on the radio!!!

http://www.vpr.net/news_detail/86718/

who said racism is just for high schoolers? apparently not vermont.

it really is so lovely to have college students say "it's not fair" to you when you explain to them that turning in a two page paper when the minimum requirement was three pages means they get a 50%. and that's being gracious. in my world, they would get a 0. "it's not fair." you know what's not fair? me having to listen to you. me having to explain to you, a 20-something person, that not following directions means you don't get an A. me having to play dream destroyer and tell you that "working hard" does not mean you're awesome. or exceptional. it's also not fair that i have to listen to you tell me that it's my fault you did poorly because i didn't tell you exactly how to fix your paper. i'm going to punch you in your stupid, whiny mouth. hard.

in other racist news, i learned of a fairly disconcerting situation at a college i work(ed) at. a female student of mine was absent from class a few weeks ago and i was told, both by her and college administration, that this absence was due to her being frightened of another student on campus. i explicitly asked the college admin person if this was a domestic violence-type situation, and was told yes. having had my own run-in with a violent ex-boyfriend in college, i was especially sympathetic to what happened to her. so sure, make up the quiz, take your time, i understand.

WELL.... today after a final exam a student of mine asked me if i was teaching at the college next semester, i said no, and this student asked whether it was because of what had happened there. hmm... no.... but please go on. turns out that this "domestic violence" situation is a bunch of hoo-hah. i'm working on finding out what i can, but from what i was told, "innocent" female student yelled racial slurs at nauseum at this male student, a black male student, until he grabbed her and told her to be quiet. THAT incident was reported to the college admin and as a result...... the black male student was kicked out. THE BLACK MALE STUDENT WAS KICKED OUT. again, my investigative shoes are going to do what they can, but holy crap. the male student is absolutely gone now, and i'd like to know what sort of work the school did to figure out what happened. was there some sort of student court thing? or did they just err on the side of the white female student? as someone who was legitimately terrified to leave her own dorm room after her ex assaulted her, it's absolutely maddening to think this woman presented the situation as a domestic violence situation when it was nothing of the sort. beyond maddening. the good thing... it sounds like students are mad. really mad. hopefully mad enough to do something about it. in the meantime, it's time to do some investigating.

government bat project

Monday was a doozle of a day as far as classroom antics goes, so get comfortable and ready to laugh. It was my penultimate day teaching at the high school, which meant that the barely-there filter that I try to keep intact was slowly being eaten away by the delightful stories spewing out of my mouth. I pulled out the story about convincing my sister Erica I was dead, how we used to shock her on the electric fence surrounding our house, and then we got to the science of the day: heterogeous and homogeneous mixtures. I asked them what “homo” meant and they said “same,” and what “hetero” meant and they said “different.” Very good. I then said “It’s like homosexual. If you are a homosexual boy you hang out with other boys, if you are a homosexual girl you hang out with girls. If you are a heterosexual girl, you hang out with boys…. until you get to college and do some experimentation.” Gasps, gasps, gasps. Someone muttered "this is a Catholic school" and I responded "yep, and I only have one more day teaching here." THEN, we get talking about atomic energy and fission and fusion and Hiroshima. A science-type boy in the back who likes to show me how much he knows raises his hand and asks me if I know what the US government was working on before the bomb. I tell him I don’t, and he proceeds to go on about…. get ready….. bats. Bats that the government would equip with little detonating devices that would explode when they got into Japanese houses. Bats. My face looked relatively skeptical and I made a flapping motion with my arms and asked “bats?” and he kept going on about how they had had actually implanted the detonating devices into the bats but that didn’t work. At this point the psychopath student in the front yells back that they made the bats explode and I am guffaw laughing like a maniac. Bats. I say “OK… so you’re telling me the government was weighing these two options: (lift left hand up) bats with backpacks on…… or (lift right hand up) the atomic bomb? Hmmm….. ” I assured him that I did not NOT believe him.. that it was crazy enough to be true. Bats.

Then my college class. This is the class where the students show ZERO excitement about anything and the lectures can get relatively painful. So I was giving a lecture on reproductive biology, my FAVORITE SUBJECT IN THE WHOLE WORLD. I’m all excited talking about ovulation and birth control and in vitro fertilization and all that super sexy stuff, but of course I’m getting zippo interest from the class. So I decide to have fun with it.

Fun time #1: my description of how birth control works. “The pill works by preventing ovulation, meaning no egg is released so there’s no egg to fertilize. It also thickens the cervical mucus. It’s basically like your vagina got slimed. Like if a Ghostbuster had a proton pack that shot out slime instead.”

Fun time #2: talking about why it is harder for older women to conceive. I’m looking at the class as I discuss how the older a woman is, the older her eggs are, and I’m knowing that they are completely zoning out and so I say “And the reason that older women have such a harder time conceiving is because they are so unattractive.” Tick. Tick. Tick. Nothing. “Wow, I didn’t think you were listening, but wow. They have a harder time conceiving because their eggs are older.” Couple of uncomfortable laughs, then I continued with my lecture on the most interesting stuff EVER. And tried to say “ejaculation”, “semen”, “vaginal discharge”, “pulling out,” and anything else that made them shift uncomfortably in their seats. Mission accomplished.

tribes and babies and oh my

i'm not going to say that high schooler's don't necessarily serve a purpose, but i'm pretty sure they don't serve a purpose. except maybe to be smelly and wear ill-fitting clothing and touch each other and talk about gross things and refuse to be excited about anything and be generally obnoxious. middle schoolers are sweet, sweet gems of fun bubbles and jelly beans and unbridled excitement. and i miss them. i've got five days and counting at the little den of ignorance and intolerance... and today i heard some real eye-poppers.

december 1st is World AIDS Day when you give everyone you can AIDS. kidding. i was talking to my two classes about a study that just came out showing that medical malpractice has contributed to millions of cases of AIDS in africa. (see jonathanturley.org for the article) so i asked my classes why it is that africa has had such a big problem with the virus. a couple of the most colorful and frightening responses:
1- "because they live in tribes and have babies all day long." my response: "that may be the most racist thing i've ever heard you say." her response: "it's not racist. they don't all live in tribes." THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.
2- "because they have huge orgies." this was said by a new student of mine who definitely has nerdy, science-type tendencies, so of course as soon as he said this he started blushing and i started giggling and responded by saying, "well, let's all assume that they're wearing condoms and it's a safe orgy. you all should wear condoms. always. girls, make sure they put one on."

five. more. days.

apparently i'm getting uber crafty

there's more... i'm loving them





so today i'm sitting in my classroom and the icky math teacher strolls on in. he's icky for a variety of reasons, but his obsession with TI-83s and any other calculator the TI family might put out is frightening. FRIGHTENING. he's lost in mind in faculty meetings before when people brought up online books, as though they have been produced by the robot army that is slowly working its way through the bowels of technology, counting the minutes and days until the powerful TIs will be removed from their throne of moving sine graphs. so he strolls in and sort of looks at me and then says "so the students are saying that you've resigned." i tell him that yes, yes i have, and he then stares at me for about 30 seconds. 30 seconds of nothing except glassy, TI-strained, bloodshot eyes. then he sort of looks down and kind of makes these snorty/exhalation noises like a horse, then starts talking to me about....... yep, calculators. after a few minutes of that, he says "well... if you're leaving for personal reasons.. i just.... i mean, if it's personal... i just really think you should give (the school) a chance." i think i said something like "well, i appreciate your opinion." and then threw a TI-83 on the floor and danced in its shattered plastic splatter.

rhett butler... you are divine

yesterday i went to the movies to see gone with the wind. the local theatre here was playing it on the big screen, and since i had never seen, i figured seeing it in a proper-style theatre with lots of old people would be the way to go. and was it ever. FOUR HOURS. the movie is four hours. and no one in the theatre died during those four hours. thankfully. but i was neck-deep in little old ladies (and suspiciously, very few old men.... but then i realized they were all probably dead), many of whom were wearing fur coats and were incredibly dolled-up. very cute. and the movie was great and i officially have a huge crush on rhett butler. stupid scarlett. ashley's a total dud and gross-looking and rhett was so great and funny and dashing and charming and ugh. what an idiot. ol' ethel next to me was just as irritated as i was.

my latest project: making frames out of old books. and i'm loving them. they're aged and rough and cute and will look really rad hanging up. with sexy lady photos in them.

and in case the zebra comment didn't get you....

i just remembered something else mr. bright pants said. he told me he used to fill in at the high school i resigned from. he asked about what happened with the football team, and when i told him what they shouted and the aftermath, he responded with "i taught those kids. those are all good kids. there's not a racist in the bunch." really? i am so goddamn tired of that response to what these kids did. how exactly do you define what a racist is? if yelling "kill n***ers" doesn't fall into your definition, maybe you need readjust your criteria. what exactly does it take to be considered a racist around here? lynching? being a part of the KKK? i would say that being a subtle racist still makes you a racist, but it's not even about subtlety! you screamed for the destruction of other groups of people based on their race, sexual identity, and religious affiliation. that makes you a racist, homophobe, and anti-semite. done.