best hour of my life

there are lots of words i think are thrown around pretty loosely: "liberal", "organic", "parent", "hero". we can officially now add "master teacher" to that list. when i think "master teacher," a few things come to mind: an old, crinkly teacher wearing a tweed jacket, reminiscing about a time long long ago when students were still afraid of a swinging ruler and there were only 75 elements in the periodic table. this sage of pedagogical wisdom would shower us with secrets of behavior management, fear tactics, and maybe even a few tales of how shook up the science department was when plasma became a state of matter. THAT is what i think of when i hear the words "master teacher."

the reality: a "master teacher" is an educator who has been in the system maybe two years, has enough intelligence to put their pants on in the right direction in the morning, but apparently still makes the ol' classic mistake of "3 x 2 = 10." we've all done it. other things this real-life master teacher might do..... she might go on and on for an hour about how the unit circle was one of the hardest things she's ever had to conquer, how she's sometimes still stumped by adding fractions, and when we mention chemistry, she replies "oh man. dot line. that's all i remember. dot line." the chemistry teacher and i look at each other, having ZERO clue what she's talking about. and she keeps saying it. finally, i draw it (a dot next to a line) and she exclaims "THAT'S IT!" i said "yes... it's an exclamation point." and still... NOT. A. CLUE. so yes... after 8 hours of teenage screaming and nasty nasty girls calling you nasty nasty names, you're right. the thing i'd most love to be doing is getting lectured by a "master teacher" with the intelligence of a roofied boston terrier. i am quite possibly less smart for having spent those 60 minutes with her....