cheating douchebag ugh gross

this is when my naivete really shows itself. i really really do not think that real life people cheat on their boyfriends or girlfriends or wives or anybody. sure.... perhaps i've heard a story of infidelity long after it has happened, but i've never been face-to-face with an icky cheater. OR, as events have unfolded in the past 24 hours, found myself in the position where someone who would like to be cheating is propositioning yours truly to be the other woman. not only do i find this gross because i just find it gross.... i find it ESPECIALLY nauseating because:

1. i work with this guy.
2. he's married.
3. he has a MONTH OLD BABY. a month. a month old. can barely open his eyes to look into his gross-ass dad's face.
4. we both frequent the same dog park, i with my dog, he with his FAMILY. that woman he made a life committment to and his genetic spawn.
5. his proposition came via email. now... there's stupid and there' really really freaking "i try jamming my fist into my mouth during lunch breaks" and "i like to leave paper trails of my attempts to stick my penis in other women" stupid.

i got the email last night and screamed/vomited all over myself and proton for an hour. then called people to try to figure out what the hecks to do. and let me just say, it's not as though this douchebag and i have shared longing looks over the nitrates in the lab room, or wrestled with our feelings as we're figuring out our seating charts. NOTHING. there's been nothing except me thinking that perhaps mr. grosso is perhaps a bit too interested in what i'm doing and visiting my room maybe a little too much. but NO WAY did i think i would get a freaking email titled "your call" letting me know what he feels he needs to let me know. well great. guess i'm taking myself out of the fucking garden club. and blocking you on facebook and making sure that you aren't reading this blog by sending my friends personal invitations.

i have the day off of work today, but tomorrow is going to be day 1 of nasty mcbalding's introduction to the cool, cold, removed side of dr. l. oh no.... we are not discussing lesson plans, or global warming, or where the paper towels are, or anything at all. suck it. i don't even want to be in the same room as you.