my A&P I class has somehow turned into a venue of catharsis, a place where those with physical oddities and abnormalities feel free to give spoken life to the interesting bone arrangements, butt crack issues, and outrageous flexibilities they carry around with them. the impetus for these declarations was our first lecture on the skeleton. quite soon into it, a girl in the front raised her hand and proceeded to tell me that two of the bones are her foot are fused together, resulting in her having zero lateral movement and having to wear ankle braces all the time. awesome. that was quickly followed by my learning that:
- another student has some weird bone indentation in his sternum. this isn't to be confused with the ol' "chicken bone" syndrome apparently plaguing rutland. that's when a bone actually sticks out of your sternum like a little chicken teepee and must somehow facilitate your strutting around all fowl-like with your chest out.
- 55-year-old men have no problem trying to put their leg over their head during the middle of a lecture. and i say "trying" because in no way did he succeed. somehow talking about contortionists and what their little bodies can do signaled an "OK GO!" response in this man's brain that resulted in him exclaiming about how he was able to put his foot behind his head as a kid and then he tried doing it. in the middle of class. in his chair. i screamed and turned away and started sweating.
- there are people walking around with crooked butt cracks. after the gushings of things wrong with people (i somewhere in there heard mention of a third nipple on someone but chose to keep the lecture moving), a student came up to me during break and told me she had something wrong with her. and kind of looked at me..... and then said "my butt crack is crooked. how could that happen?" um............ before we talk about how, let's really talk about what a crooked butt crack is. are we talking a 45 degree angle of crookedness all the way across? a little hook in there? turns out the crookedness is just at the top. thank goodness. wow. pretty amazing how just teaching an A&P class makes you an expert on abnormal tush features.
so... the new nicknames of the class: "fuse foot", "divet chest", and "san andreas trench."
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