you called who on what?

today i had to go to walmart to buy hangers and clothes pins. yes, clothes pins for hanging clothes on a clothes line. i took professor proton with me because i didn't want him freaking out at the house. i park in the lot, exit the car, and head to the door, determined to make it in-and-out in under 10 minutes because a) walmart is terrible, and b) my dog will be screaming at me the entire time i am gone. on my way in to the pit of no health insurance for employees, i hear a lady say to another, "well you can't do that when you come out of rehab. you can't come back to the same place." well, well. maybe this isn't so much different than baltimore. and i saw a black person in the hardware store earlier. anyway... i get my hangers and clothes pins and head back out to my car. strangely, the dog is quiet. also strange.. there are two very unattractive and barely-toothed people waving their arms up in the air right next to my car. hmm..... as i approach, i see that they are trying to flag down some sort of automobile. my thought: "wow... isn't that nice. rutland has a retard bus that picks up retards when they go to walmart."

nope.

the retards were flagging down animal control. in the freaking 6 minutes and 32 seconds that i had been inside, these two idiots hear my shreaking dog (who shreaks when i take a shower and he can't see me and when i turn on the microwave and when i blow out a candle) and call animal control. i ask what they're doing and they say there's a dog in the car. i say yes, i know, it's my dog. they respond with "oh.. it's hot out today." um... no it's not and move away from my shit. the geriatric animal control guy they were flagging down gets out of his car and proceeds to tell me that he received a call of a dog in a car and i again say yes, that is my dog and he is in my car. he then says that that's a $375 fine. this is when i got a little baltimore on his ass. are you serious? i asked for what? for leaving my dog in my car? that makes no sense. he replies that "yes ma'am i'm dead serious", and i can't leave my dog in the car with the windows up. i then tell him they are not up, they are down so the dog could have air. he then decides to look and tells me they're not far down enough. you know what? you drove a fucking block to get here cus there's no other shit going on. go find your nosy retard buddies that called this in and arrest their brother/sister/parents for fucking in the first place.