alice in dampness

proton really outdid himself this time. like a labyrinth of string.

it has been hot enough here that we have made the move to sleeping in the basement. we are lucky enough to have a place that has a furnished basement and an extra bedroom down there and the temperature is a good 30 degrees cooler than it is on the first floor. however, i was a little nervous about sleeping down there for a couple of reasons: 1- major spider breeding ground with high probability of a mama spider crawling into my open mouth when sleeping, 2- it smells like a basement, 3- proton regularly craps on the floor about 10 seconds after hitting the cool air. we've been working on getting him to stop that, but it's real hit-or-miss. almost like some sort of comfort poop or something... like he's been holding on to it all day and only when he is in the sweet, refreshing air of the basement can he do what he needs to do. but... i did it. slept in the cellar. our friend dan was visiting, so that meant we were sleeping in the main room on the futon. in the middle of the night i had to get up and go to the bathroom. there were a couple of obstacles to me getting there: 1-the basement is DARK DARK LIKE A NIGHTMARE DARK and you can't see anything. not even your hand in front of your face. 2-i also am not so familiar with the layout, so i couldn't necessarily feel my way to the bathroom. 3-i am afraid of the dark. so i set out for bathroom, stumbling around, feeling for the coffee table.. yep.. there it is... then the chair next to it... yep, yep, got it. and all the while i've got my eyes closed... but i'm still kind of squinting. then i run into a wall. not only do i run into a wall, i try "focusing" my eyes in the dark and kind of started to panic when i realized i was shrouded in pure darkness. except for a tiny gleam of light coming from somewhere out of a parallel universe. i reached my hand towards that light but ran into more wall. then i actually put my hands UP and that's when i really started to lose it. my hands immediately hit the ceiling, which of course led me to think that either i was growing remarkably quickly and my shoulders would soon be crushed against the dropped ceiling, OR, even worse, the world around me was shrinking, OR, worst of all, i had somehow just got trapped in a box. i started to panic and had to close my eyes and focus on my breathing and remember that i was just in a basement and if i made it through five years of graduate school i can make it to the goddamn bathroom. and i did. successfully. somehow i found the door and made it out. yep. i'll be educating your children.